In an interview for Central TV Channel, our head coach, Yuri Petrovichev, together with the presenters, discussed the issues of motivation of the trainees and the cooperation of the coach and parents. The full interview can be viewed here. Also in one of the previous articles, Useful tips for practicing, raised the question that without the help of loved ones it is very difficult to move towards the goal. And today we would like to pay closer attention to the questions of how to help a child improve his results, reach great heights and just grow self-confidence. After all, it is impossible to overestimate the importance of supporting loved ones in the training process.

• How to raise a strong child?
• How can you make your teen more confident?
• How to teach a son or daughter to fight back bullies?
• What if my child is bullied at school?
• The child has little contact with peers, what should I do?

These questions are very common. We often encounter this in communication with both parents who bring their children to class, and just at the everyday level. And this is a rather difficult question, which, nevertheless, is not so difficult to answer.

If you want your child to grow up strong, help him become strong. Do you want him to be confident? Build confidence and support in him. Do you want to be able to protect yourself? It is quite obvious that it is possible to enroll a child in the aikido section.

The answers are very simple. They lie on the surface. But it’s always easier said than done. Behind simple words, in order to achieve a result, there should always be systematic and painstaking work. But let’s go in order.

How to raise a strong child?

It would seem that everything is very simple. Horizontal bar, stadium, skipping rope. Push-ups and squats can generally be done at home. But several questions arise:

• Which exercises are suitable for the child, and which ones are better to postpone?
• How to do a warm-up and whether it is necessary to do it if the load will not be so great further?
• How to make your workouts regular?
• How to maintain the regimen?

There are always a lot of nuances. Trips, business trips, meetings at work with parents. Homework, test preparation, fatigue or lack of motivation in the child. And the stadium is not always suitable for training during the cold season. Therefore, it is much more expedient to choose a section that will meet all the necessary requirements. Again, parents should love and support the child, but driving and loading is the coach’s job.

The training process in any sports section always provides for an integrated approach to classes:

• Firstly, during training, a warm-up is always carried out, which helps to prepare the body for stress, warm up muscles and joints, minimizing the possibility of injury.
• Secondly, any load received in the classroom is included in the training plan. It is always built taking into account the age characteristics of children and is aimed at helping the child to develop harmoniously. This is especially important in the age of development of information technology, when children spend a lot of time at computers or with gadgets.
• Thirdly, training is held in specially equipped rooms, where it does not matter what the weather is outside the window. Rain, sun, slush or snow does not affect the training process in the dojo in any way.
• Fourth, one of the most important factors is motivation. The job of a coach, a teacher, is precisely to help a child learn to set goals and achieve them.
• Fifth, the coach, as a rule, has a plan and vision for the development of the child for years to come.

It is for these reasons that it is better to entrust sports education to a coach. The main thing is to find exactly the teacher who can ignite your child, instilling in him a love for development and self-improvement.

How can you help your child become more confident?

This question often worries many parents. The answer to it also lies on the surface:

• to help;
• support;
• do not squeeze;
• prompt;
• believe.

All these are common truths. But sometimes it’s much easier said than done. And in this matter, it would also be good to share the spheres of influence of parents and teachers with coaches.

The coach’s job is to help the child develop on the one hand, and, on the other hand, to teach him how to get the most out of himself. It is the coach who sees how the child progresses. Sees his strengths and weaknesses. Understands what qualities need to be developed and what to stake on. He sees where to raise the bar higher, and what still needs to be worked on.

Parents need to support the child. Undoubtedly, trainers also support and inspire their students. But the parent has a completely different task – to support and love. After all, when a child sees support, when he feels the love of his parents and knows that even if it is hard, he will definitely be supported, he is capable of a lot. A good attitude should not be a reward for certain achievements, but the norm. After all, it is in a favorable atmosphere, knowing that he is supported and loved, that the child will grow up confident in himself and in his abilities.

Unfortunately, constant criticism and reproaches bring up a large number of complexes, which are then very difficult to cope with. And even if the parents believe that all this is beneficial, for example:

• builds character;
• makes the child stronger;
• prepares for adulthood and more.

But very often, unfortunately, you can see a completely different result. The child becomes withdrawn and closed. Learn not to control, but to suppress emotions. Lost in case of aggression from other people or peers.

Criticism, even if it is justified, without suggesting how you can correct its cause, very often causes a feeling of self-doubt. The “opposite” and “contrary” approach will not always be effective here:

• Telling a child that he is “weak” instead of “you are strong, you can”, it will rather root in him uncertainty and self-doubt than a desire to prove the opposite. And even if it works, the thought laid down by the closest people from whom we expect support and whom we trust will sprout and eventually mature to the level of complexes.
• If we say “you are fat,” “you need to lose weight,” and so on, then with a much greater probability this dissatisfaction with his own weight and appearance will haunt him even in adulthood. Even if these complexes are hidden deep inside. It is more appropriate here not to buy croutons, chips, sweet water for the child and to support him in his desire to eat right and motivate him to move more. And at the same time, praise for the results, not criticize for the shortcomings.

In kindergarten, to a lesser extent, but in school and already in adulthood, a person has always encountered and will continue to face negative attitudes, resentments and insults. And in many respects it will depend on the attitude of the parents whether he can cope with them.

Love children, support them, believe in them, be a support that is always there. And then they will carry this self-confidence throughout their lives.

Trainers always work with what they have. We can support, help and develop what we already have. But it is the atmosphere in the family that is the foundation on which any teacher, teacher or coach will help the child to build his life further. And the stronger the foundation, the more reliable the whole further structure will be.

How to teach a child to defend their interests and defend themselves?

Here, too, it is not difficult to give an answer. Self-defense training will help you learn to protect yourself. Aikido in Kyiv, as in any other city, is represented by a large number of sections. Different federations, different styles, different features.

Applied Aikido for children is a protection system that helps to cope with difficulties and situations that arise in the modern world and has its advantages:

• techniques used for real situations;
• techniques are developed taking into account those attacks and manifestations of aggression that are found in our time;
• children are trained according to a special program that takes into account the peculiarities of their physiology.

We give children tools that they can use in an emergency. But the important point is not just teaching the child to defend themselves. And give him confidence that he can defend himself. That he can and should defend his interests and his security.

And in this plane lies the most important task, which the coach and parents can only cope with together. Coaches, for their part, provide the child with the tools and skills and help build self-confidence. But as we said above, everything depends on the foundation, which is laid exclusively by the parents. And it is in the joint work of teachers, coaches on the one hand and parents on the other hand that the secret of success lies.

A coach gives knowledge, parental support and faith gives confidence. And trainers help that confidence grow.

Conflict situations: what to do?

Any conflict situation is stressful. And in this case, the most important point is that the person responds to it correctly. It depends on many factors, but the keystone here is having self-confidence.

It is confidence that will allow the child to use or not to use the tools and knowledge that he has received. There are several important points to note:

• confidence in your strength;
• the confidence that he will not be punished if he defended himself or defended the weak;
• support of parents and the coach after the end of the conflict.

If the child is supported and instilled in him confidence in his abilities, then, after a while, he will begin to fight back bullies. And this is where the most important work begins.

If it was to protect yourself or someone weak, then telling the child that he was wrong means undermining his confidence in his abilities. And next time he may not want to use his knowledge for the purpose of protection. After all, many will prefer resentment from peers, strangers, instead of censure from parents, whom there is no one closer to.

And one of the most important points is the analysis of the situation after. It is always necessary to discuss details and find out who is right and who is wrong with the child. And at the same time there should be no strangers. The child should know that the parents are ready to protect and support him in the event of aggression from outside the family. Further, already among themselves, the situation needs to be analyzed, conclusions drawn and discussed with the child. But in no case discuss it in front of strangers. And even more so not to criticize in front of strangers.

Interaction with peers

Interaction with peers, classmates, friends and neighbors in the yard is always an important part of any child’s life. Likewise, we can safely say that children will always check each other’s boundaries. Check a person for weakness, for whether it is possible to bully and offend him. Or vice versa, it is better to be friends.

A confident child will not be bullied. A child who knows how to protect himself and is not afraid to fight back. Who knows that his parents support him. They do not hide and do not force themselves to avoid difficult situations. Do not shield from them. If the child feels this confidence, then there is a very high probability that the bullies will not even climb up to him. And if this happens, then after receiving a rebuff, in most cases they will no longer offend. The main thing is that the parents in this situation are on the side of the child. When he is the object of aggression and only responds to its manifestation, but does not bully himself.

And such a child will always find a common language with other children. Because he will not be afraid of the appearance of aggression, as he knows how to act in such situations.

And, of course, a very important point is that any training, any activity is a kind of society in which a child learns to interact with others. The coach’s job in this case is to help children find common ground and maintain a healthy atmosphere. And if he is present in the team, if there is no spirit of rivalry that competition engenders, then children find it much easier to find a common language and learn to help each other and interact. This is the goal we pursue in our Club. More details about our attitude to competition can be found in the article Aikido competitions: Pros and Cons.

Learn to defend, learn to be friends and interact, support and help. But all this is possible with the right foundation, with which it is much easier to build this structure, which will stand steadily in any life situations that may happen to the child in the future.

If you have any questions, you can always ask them on our official Facebook page or by phone. All contact information can be found here.